EVERYONE SEEM TO LEAVE AWAY

please, i feel so tired d, and i know my heart, and god knows mine too.. i tried hard to control it and hide it from the truth.. i know this is a challenge for me,this is really a big yet tough challenge for me... plus, you told me that you want to change to another cell group, actually if you do so, it doesnt affect me much physically, but spiritually i really need you so much.. i know our cell group need you too, maybe i just dunno how to express my emotion and my feeling, i just want to hide it.. and another one, you said you have the same feeling too, church cant give you the love feeling that you need and also the family love for you, actually i do have the same feeling too.. really, im very done of this kind of feeling too, and my feeling now is so complicated !! my exam pressure makes me so really tired and somemore.. haizzz.. i seriously dont know what to do too... THE ONLY THING I WANT TO TELL YOU IS 'EVEN THE WHOLE WORLD SEEM TO LEAVE YOU ALL AWAY, GOD IS STILL THERE FOR YOU, AND EVEN YOU CANT FEEL IT, BUT YOU CANT DENY IT..' and please do not forget what he had done in our life.. this is just the challenge, dont be like this please, be strong please... im tired, you are tired, but we still have to walk forward.. god's promise is just miles away... please, please... i know its hard coz im trying very hard too !! but let us try together..

IM TIRED...

im tired of doing things that arent encouraged by god, i want to love Him with all my souls, my hearts, and my energy... coz He is soooo real in my life, sorry, lord, whenever i do it, i will feel so guilty, but for my current situation, my parents really forced me to do so..so i have to obey, is difficult to obey both at the same time, but of course i hope prioritize you, im realy tired d leh, everyone seems like dont understand my feeling as they dont know you... how ?? how ??? my tower of refuge, but i wil still thank you as you really created a lot of problems in my life, i know actually you are training me right now, you are preparing me now, i will be tough because of you in my life... I LOVE YOU TO THE MAX...

IM OUT OF CONTROL...

Recently, im out of control, yea, i cant control what im doing right now, whether i like it or not, im doing it, everyday when i was in my room, i will try to figure out what have i done in the whole day, and i tried to apologise to god, and i found out that my sorries arent enough for my faults... i can feel it, but i cant control myself... i have no longer belongs to me.. i tired of being like this, i know i FELT down, but i dont have the ability, energy, power to stand up again... i know my heart is still belong to you, if you ask me, 'do you love me ?', i will surely without hesitating say ' yes, i do'.. you know what ?? i read  bible everyday, even more frequent than i did, and i prayed, even more frequent than i did, but... MY FEELING IS SOOOOO REALLY COMPLICATED....

venomous without provocation

A 10 YEARS OLD GIRL I MET YESTERDAY

A 10 YEARS OLD GIRL I MET YTD.

Last friday i had a great dinner with my parents and also my parents friend in federal hotel.. One of their daughter which is only 10 years old, she is a very talented girl, and played piano very well, so i chatted with her for a while, my first impression to her was she is really a nice girl, and i feel a kind of special bond between us, i really hope to protect her, and i promised her to teach her few famous pieces of songs, then i prayed for her, i really hope that one day she can be saved, then the next day, again they came to my house for dinner, and i went to church until 9 smtg.. then the minute i stepped into my house, i really scared my uncles and aunts will insult me since they used to it, but she came to me, she said ' jie jie, you just came back from church izit ? can i see your bible for a while ? how come your bible so big one ? mine so small.. ', from this conversation, i got to know that she is a christian, i was  shocked, i was like omg, why are you so realistic jesus ??? yesterday i prayed for the girl, then today she tells me that she is a christian.. immediately, i was like ' why are you a christian since your parents are not christian ?' then she told me 'because i love jesus lor, i believe in Him' then i was like who brought you to church ? then she said 'dunno, just feel like going'.. OH MY GOD, i got impressed by this girl, im so shocked seriously, her life is so so so so spiritual, i really admire her so much, i have to learn from her, i think this is what god actually want from me, the courageous and the toughness.. may god continue to bless her and commit her heart, please.. see, guys, a girl like this love jesus so much.. how about you ?? Jesus is like the existence of air, eventhough the air is odourless, tasteless, colourless, but we cant deny the existence of it, is same like our god, He is indeed around us, His love, mercy, and grace to all of us is irreplaceable, He told us through bible that His love is like a mountain, no one can move the mountain right ??? no one can separate the mountain and the land right ?? No one can separate his love to us, no one can stop Him loving us.. JESUS LOVE ALL YOU, PLEASE DO NOT REJECT HIM SINCE HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH..

JOURNEY IS BETTER THAN ARRIVE

well, im glad to have a new blog here, i cant imagine i myself to have a blog, since im not that hardworking to update my blog, anyway, im doing it since holy spirit told me to do so.... how do you guys define journey ? For me, right now, kar yan just shared a sentence with me yesterday, and im shocked, and i got totally impressed by it.. JOURNEY IS BETTER THAN ARRIVE... Tell you what ?? alot of ppl will think that believe in jesus will torture them, alot of things are stirctly prohibited to do, YES, i do feel very tough for me, there are always persecutions, humiliations in between.. including my parents, my uncles and aunts, they dont like me to go to church, they still always scold me when i hang around with my church bro and sis, im done of it, i have no idea how to solve those problems, when everyone ask me 'do you want to quit ? to you want to leave away from jesus ?' honestly, i think of it before as a normal human being, BUT, yes, there is always a but, jesus loves me so much, till everytime i call out for Him, i cried, he will show me how much love he has for me, and that kind of love is irreplaceable.. this kind of love reminded me not to leave Him away.. until now, when i recall back everything he did for me, including how he brought me to church, make my tears drop.. yes, i wasnt a girl who cry like a little kid, i think maximum three times or less than that a year i used to cry, b'coz i was born and live in a pretty warm family, and i have y lovely parents, they love me so much, but we used to argue too laa.. loll.. but now, our problems become more and more, since they really dont agree with me to be a christian, im done of it... but now i really enjoy the whole journey between me and jesus, and i din even regret, i thank Him so much instead, try to think in a different way, if one is totally perfect without any weakness, he/she doesnt even need a god, and his/her life will be very boring since he/she cant even experience the existence of god... so TRUST ME, GUYS, I REALLY HOPE MY POST TONIGHT WILL BUILD UP YOUR FAITH TO GOD, BIBLE SAYS THAT, BLESSED ARE FOR THOSE WHO HAS FAITH, FEAR OF HIM.. ONCE YOU ACCEPT CHRIST IN YOUR HEART, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT...